There Can Be Only One

"You just had to piss off the guy with the magic bullcrap pen eh, Lupin? This throws a wrench in our plan, ya know," Jigen grumbled, shoulders hunched in his chair beneath the hotel room window. Goemon agreed with a nod. This was indeed a troublesome predicament, made worse by the fact he could not simply cut the problem down.

"Aw c'mon it's not that bad, there's just more of me to love!" Lupin laughed. Well, a Lupin laughed.

Fujiko Mine huffed, her arms crossed beneath her ample bosom from where she lounged on the chaise. "Hmph, we're keeping the split the same way, no matter how many of you there are, Lupin!"

"Of course Fuji-cakes~ But hey why don't we make it a party, you, me, me, and–" Goemon sighed as a different Lupin was punched into the wall. It appeared they were all Lupin alright.

"Tch, well first things first, we need a new plan, that damn pen won't steal itself," Jigen sighed as two more Lupins failed in their attempts to seduce Fujiko and were subsequently dealt with.

"And the first step is making it easy to tell us apart. Luckily I have just the thing," commented the only Lupin not currently making a fool of himself (suspicious). He winked, and Goemon was no longer suspicious. That was clearly Lupin. Just like the others. What a headache.

A few minutes passed as this particular Lupin enacted his step one, which was–

"How do you like the red, Fuji-cakes?" now Red-Jacketed Lupin flexed his eyebrows. Fujiko ignored him as she looked through binoculars pointed out the window at their real target: the white mansion on the hill behind heavily armed guarded gates.

Within the confines of that compound, was the object of their desire. The Pen of Kazuhiko Katō, a legendary object said to create worlds, currently in possession of a baron named Marciano Adolf Markane Onihei. Goemon was unsure if he believed the magical tales, but he certainly believed the price tag of One Billion United States Dollars. Though Lupin currently being Lupin(s) was compelling evidence for the pen's mystical properties.

Pre-multiples-Lupin had called it The Whopper of all Artisanal Utensils.

"Now what? You being all the colors of the thief rainbow doesn't solve the problem," Jigen grunted, unimpressed with Lupin's solution.

"We can deal with that later. Besides, the more of me the merrier, yeah?" Red, Blue, and Green jacketed Lupins chorused. Goemon and Jigen looked at each other, firmly on the same page that no, it was not, in fact, merrier.

"Huh... Lupin?!" Fujiko suddenly yelped, looking not at the three Lupins who now clustered around her but instead out the window. Goemon and Jigen turned, and Goemon felt his headache increase in intensity.

For there was indeed another Lupin, running across the grounds of the mansion, guards panic shooting, with Inspector Zenigata hot on his heels.

—

"Get back here Lupin!" Zenigata hollered as he chased the slippery thief across the lawn towards the heavily guarded gates of the Mamoum Mansion. He would be damned if he let that idiot out of his sights! He, Inspector Zenigata of Interpol, would catch him this time!

"No can do, Pops!" Lupin laughed as he did something Lupin-y with his watch, a rope shooting out to launch this pink flavored Lupin over the gates. But if he thought that would be enough to escape him, then Pinky had another thing coming! Through sheer strength of will, Zengiata clawed his way up the gates with his teeth and toppled into the grass on the other side.

Only to come face to face with the muzzles of some very serious looking firearms held by some very serious looking guys. "I'm Inspector Zenigata of Interpol, boys! What say we team up and get that Lupin?!" He flashed his badge quickly, Lupin disappearing inside the main doors of the mansion.

The goons looked at one another. They did not lower their weapons. Uh oh.

—

"These tunnels really go under the mansion?" Jigen looked skeptical as Blue led the way through the dark and damp route beneath the road overhead.

"Of course! All old castles had escape routes in case the peasantry got a little... upset," Blupin grinned.

"And you know about this one...?"

"Don't you know all us old families had the same design team, Jigen?" Lupin laughed. Jigen shook his head as he stepped in something questionable. This had better work.

"Now listen, Goemon, while the other me has the guards distracted, once we're beneath the room with the pen, you'll cut us a hole and I'll grab the pen!" Blupin looked over his shoulder and stopped abruptly. Jigen turned, already knowing something was up when Goemon didn't complain about cutting through something as banal as sewer bricks with his sword.

Yup, Goemon and Green were nowhere to be seen. He rubbed his temples, headache emerging with a vengeance.

"You know, I expected this from Fuji-cakes but I didn't see it coming with Goemon..." Blue sighed.

—

Goemon liked to consider himself the most sane of the gang, certainly the most grounded in reality. In the air they breathed, in the dirt beneath their feet, in the assurance that Zantetsuken could cut through anything if he was skilled enough.

"Is this really wise, Lupin?" he grunted, watching as his long time friend futzed with some kind of contraption made of wires. Dust floated around them from the hole he'd cut to give them access the basement.

"Listen, it only seems like a bomb! But once they get my message, they'll think it's real and have to evacuate the mansion until they can "disarm" it. That'll clear the way to the pen, and bam, we're rollin' in dough!" Green winked. Goemon nodded, seeing the logic. The pile of dynamite sticks sitting innocently on the floor were likely filled with some kind of trick powder then.

—

"Not to worry Jigen, I brought a backup!" Blupin tugged two sticks of dynamite out of his jacket. Jigen made a face. He wasn't sure blowing a hole into an old tunnel roof was a great idea, but the sunk cost fallacy had him in its grips.

Blupin carefully placed the dynamite, and the two of them rushed to a safe distance, watching the fuse burn down slowly... three... two... Jigen covered his ears. One.

One... One? Both of them slowly looked at one another as nothing happened.

Pop! A little flag emerged with Lupin's face on it in a shower of glitter.

"Uh oh..." Blupin bit his lip. Jigen glared.

—

"Awww, Fuji-cakes...come on, you don't have to do this," Red pouted from the floor.

"Sorry Lupin," Fujiko purred from the arm of Baron M.A.M.O. She smiled as she stroked a finger down the man's gorilla-like arm. "Now you'll let me draw whatever I want right, Marciano?" she giggled. Her waist was held carefully in the Baron's meaty grayish hand.

"Of course, after all, you held up your end of the deal and brought me Lupin," he smiled a smile with too many teeth. There was no way Fujiko was going to be that guy's arm candy. Over his dead body or his name wasn't Lupin the 3rd!

At that moment, all hell broke loose.

—

"Lupin!!!!" Zenigata hollered, bolting down the hallway after his target. Behind him pelted a practical army of goons, though whether the target was him or Lupin, Zenigata wasn't sure. Lupin darted into a massive ballroom, the walls lined with glass cases containing jewelry, art, pottery. All the kinds of fancy stuff these bigwigs always had. Didn't they know that stuff like that was a magnet for Lupin?!

But it was in the middle of the ballroom that Pink was headed, toward a raised dais with a glass dome, something glinting within it. Lupin bait if there ever was one. "Don't you touch that Lupin!" Zenigata yelled as Lupin skidded to a stop on the dais, a shit eating grin on his face.

"You know Pops, my pysch profile says I have problems with authority!" Zenigata charged up the dais, handcuffs stretched out in hand–! Lupin touched the glass dome.

Only to vanish?!

"What the-?!" Zenigata yelped, unable to stop himself in time from crashing into the dome himself. An alarm blaring loudly in the air was the last thing he heard.

—

"I thought you said the bomb was fake!" Goemon cried as he cut through unworthy falling debris.

"I thought it was!" Green squawked, skittering out of the way of a massive piece of concrete smashing into the ground. The mansion was coming down, no doubt about it.

—

The alarm blared as the floor shook ominously. Red grinned, a perfect though unexpected distraction!

"What's going on?!" Baron Ugly-Man-Whatever barked as his goons rushed into the room. Plaster began falling from the ceiling, Fujiko yelping as the floor suddenly sagged inward, heavy desk and bookcases toppling. Red wiggled against his ropes, the exacto knife in his watch sawing quickly–!

"Looks like my plan worked perfectly!" Lupin laughed just as the floor gave way, the ballroom below glittering with shattered glass! He shot a rope from his watch at the still standing roof, swinging deftly to grab Fujiko, the Baron and his boys falling into the room below.

"You were really giving me up for the pen, Fuji-cakes?" Red whined as they swung through the air.

"Only to save you, Lupin!" she kissed him on the cheek, her amazing rack pressing against his arm. Was she lying? Definitely. Did it matter? Nope!

Of course, that's when the ceiling decided to give way. Whoops!

—

"I told you the escape passages are all the same!" Lupin gasped in the fresh air as he tumbled out into a hallway, tapestry rippling as Jigen stumbled out behind him. They weren't in the ballroom, but at least they were out of the sewer! A massive boom echoed down the hallway, the walls suddenly shaking. They looked at one another.

"Let's get that pen and fast!"

—

"What... what is this place?!" Zenigata whimpered as what looked like floating windows of... time and place drifted past him. He was falling, sort of, a glowing something far below him, Lupin only a foot ahead of him.

"It's alternate universes, Pops, just like I suspected!" Pink rubbed his chin, spinning in a circle. Zenigata understood none of that, and did the only thing he could understand. Handcuff himself to Lupin.

"Really?" Pink pouted. Zenigata grinned wildly. Universes, weird orbs, who cares, he caught Lupin! "Well, our only way out is with that pen, so let's get to it," Pink sighed like the wind had gone out of him. Zenigata only smiled harder. Onward they drifted down towards the glowing orb.

A window showing Zenigata driving after Lupin in what looked like San Francisco drifted past. "See, somewhere, Pops, is a super advanced universe that made the Pen," Pink gestured magnanimously around them. Zenigata rolled his eyes, but supposed he could let Lupin do his little spiel, since he wasn't going anywhere. He rattled the cuff just for good measure.

"And from there, the Pen made all these other ones," he pointed at a window where Lupin was getting punched through a wall in his boxers. Seemed like the same universe to Zenigata. Alternate universes his butt. They were just high, spiked by...something. Definitely.

"So all these worlds...the other me's are me, just based on other me's, ya see?" A window drifted past of Zenigata and Lupin... drinking together?! NO WAY JOSE! Not on your life!

"Quit stalling Lupin, I've got a cell with your name on it!" Zenigata barked, dragging Lupin to the shiny orb, a distinct shape within it.

—

The inner mansion had toppled around them, the ballroom left exposed to the open sky high above. The raised dais and shiny reflective glass dome, like a bubble, remarkably untouched. A pile of rubble twitched and creaked, a head popping out from the broken beams and plaster.

The head was followed by a lanky body. "You okay, Fuji-cakes?" Red asked, bleeding from a cut above his eyebrow. Fujiko Mine slipped out from beneath him, not a hair out of place.

"Where's the pen, Lupin?" she always did have her eye on the prize. What a gal~

"YOU!"

Fujiko and Red froze as the monstrous form of Baron M exploded out from under the wreckage, his skin gray and almost scaly, beady eyes furious. "You destroyed my collection!" He screamed. Oh. Well. Lupin glanced around, noting the broken glass and destroyed priceless works. Was that the Mona Lisa sticking out of the rubble?

"I thought by separating you, I could finally defeat you, but you have always been so crafty!" the Baron babbled, hand going for something in his pocket.

"What's he talking about Lupin?" Fujiko whispered. Red shrugged, focusing on the dais. Something was happening in the glass dome.

"But no matter! I'll just erase you!" the Baron shouted, yanking something out of his pocket!

"Not so fast! I wouldn't do that if I were you!" The bubble around the dais popped, two figures standing in its place. Fujiko gasped, Red smirking. There stood himself, but pink, with good old Inspector Zenigata by his side, if in a crumpled heap scrambling to get up.

In Pink's hand was... The Pen. It seemed to glow with some inner light, like something holy, otherworldly.

"Think you can outdraw a bullet?" the Baron was grinning, a gleaming pistol in his hand. Leveled not at Pink, but at... uh oh. Red gulped, Fujiko jumping away from him with a cry. "All I have to do is kill one of you, and the rest go too."

Pink's eyes narrowed, sweat dripping down Red's forehead. Red was fast but... fast enough to dodge a bullet?

"Goodbye, Lupin," the Baron cackled, a vein twitching on his bald head. Red closed his eyes–!

BLAM!

No life flashing before him, no Fujiko wailing over him, no... anything? Red cracked an eye open as the Baron toppled backwards, gun dropping from his hand.

"Just in time, Jigen!" Pink wiped sweat from his forehead. Zenigata was looking back and forth, counting Lupins. Good old Pops, always with his eye on the prize. What a guy!

"Yeah yeah, just do the thing, you guys make too much trouble as one, let alone four," Jigen tucked his pistol back into his pocket.

"Yes, I agree," came Goemon's voice as he cut through a slab of concrete, Green grinning sheepishly by his side.

"Welp, it's been fun, but I miss being just uh... me," Pink smiled, waving the pen in the air and–!

—

A blinding light cut through the air, and suddenly where there were four Lupins, now there was...one. Still handcuffed. Zenigata grinned ferally as Lupin cursed. "Aww man, I couldn't have taken the spot of one of the others?! What a drag!"

"I've got you Lupin!" He cackled, raising their cuffed arms in the air! Only for the chain to suddenly go limp between them, connection severed. Goemon sighed, resheathing his sword, as if he hadn't just cleaved Zenigata's soul in twain!

"Next time Pops!" Lupin laughed and the chase began again. Out he chased them through the rubble of the mansion, through the gates, where they hopped into their car of choice. Inspector Zenigata scrambled to his police cruiser, fumbling with the walkie talkie.

"This is Inspector Zenigata! All units to me in pursuit of Lupin the 3rd! He's wearing slacks and a jacket, color–!"

ARTIST STATEMENT

"I fell in love with Lupin the 3rd (Zenigata was my first cartoon crush oh no) back when it was airing on Adult Swim in the early 2000s. I loved the episodic nature, the fun adventures with the gang, and how Fujiko was both smart, beautiful, and conniving. Over the years, I've seen almost all the Lupin media and loved it. It always has that fun sense of adventure, the found family, the thrill of the chase. I was delighted to finally get to create something for this wonderful project, this time with multiple Lupins, because just one isn't enough!"